Friday, September 4, 2009

We Used to be Friends

Perfect time for this song to come up. I am having a mad music crush on the Dandy Warhols lately. The title is ironic to me because I have been delving deeper and deeper into my depression. I found out that all 4 of my exes are in serious relationships now and me? No one, completely single and failing at being single. Actual I was failing when i was in a relationship too. Why do I feel like I need to be in a relationship to be happy. But what do I think when I am actually in one? Like the one I had with Shayan? How I could find someone better? Then I went too quickly with Jordan and then now I am getting antsy with Keaton? God I need to break out of my circle. Jason is so nice to me, but I know it'll never go anywhere so why am I dragging? Who knows. A long time ago, I used to have you as my boyfriend, but now I wish that I didnt think of you lately. Everyone needs time but I am always stuck in the past. I don't want to think of you lately but still I do.
Maybe what I should think of now is as all of them John, Greg, Shayan, Dave, Anthony, and even Jordan, just think of how and simply we used to be friends and now if ever again, a greeting I send to any of them,
Short and sweet is all I intend. Dave was right, i shouldn't have been friends with them on facebook, but that's okay, the bridge has been crossed. Now any interaction (except for shayan) is merely a hello. Time to move on, not just from one of them, but from all my past demons.  In a sense, I know I have moved on from Shayan, and it's a gut instinct inside where I know I'll never go back to them. The others not so quite so now I need to feed that mentality. As depressed as I am, I am strong. I will move on.

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