Better Together

This is a different version of Jack Johnson's famous song by buena vista sound. This song always reminds me of my first love and first true heartbreak, John. For the longest time after we broke up, he was the standard that I compared other guys too. This was over 3 years ago so I've been able to make peace since then. Still everytime I hear this song, one of my first thoughts is of him. He was the one who introduced me to this song. It would be fitting that I came across this song on a night that I am dealing and in a very difficult way with my personal life and with the men I want to get involved in it. I never heard back from Jordan. I really liked him, a whole lot. In some ways, I might have been getting into dating too soon, but I just thought he could be a really awesome guy to hang out with. And this was what  I told him too, nothing more. I know I was honest and direct and in some ways, I have no regrets. But I don't know if I scared him by telling him that I thought he was an awesome guy. I mean that was my simple and concise phrase. I really wished I could have gotten to know him better. Apparently he doesnt think the same. It would also be fitting that on this Aaron and Sterling both text me when I was waiting for Jordan's text and asked me that they hoped i wasn't playing games. It comes down to the fact that Jordan really wasn't that into me. What's worse is that in my disappointment, i tried to look to Shayan for comfort. it was absolutely wrong of me, and i shouldn't have done that. But I just feel really burned by Jordan. Besides being eager to see him, I don't think I did anything wrong.
And everyone keeps telling me that. But if he was such a great guy, why doesn't he want to get to know me better. I'm not saying we would be better together. I just wished he gave me the opportunity to know me better. It hurts pretty bad. Like real bad. I really feel like I have a horrible dating life. I feel like John was the beginning of whatever curse I had and it is still continuing. I am sick of it. But I have no idea what is wrong with me. Nothing I know. But then why this question (the perpetual question): why doesn't he call?